Childhood Days Blog

A Must Read: The Case for Wonder

12/21/2020

A Case For Wonder by Christopher Norment published in the Orion Magazine.

This gorgeous article, sent by a dear friend who understands awe in nature, conveys the critical importance of the missing foundation beneath academic knowing: wonder.

Young children live in a place of openness and marveling. We as parents and teachers sometimes have the honor of joining them there. But can we find a way to stay for life? Can they? Can we make it our spiritual home, even as we grow older? Can we help children guard their precious ability to wonder before the forces in modern society steal it from them? This brilliant essay speaks to wonder as the true basis of all learning, of intellectual curiosity, of deep knowing. And it speaks to the importance of an underlying sense of gratitude for the natural world as a precursor to true environmental awareness.

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Conjuring Gratitude in 2020

11/19/2020

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       No doubt pandemic holidays pose unique challenges. But with a little creativity and planning, your family can create a memorable feast for Thanksgiving 2020. Long awaited holiday rituals may require a little ingenuity, but they absolutely can happen.

     How to begin? Think about how you have celebrated Thanksgiving in the past. What do your children remember? What do they anticipate for 2020? Children may long for intangible sensory experiences - like a bustling kitchen, a blazing fireplace, or the sweet scent of warm pumpkin pie. Or they may remember company arriving, cooking together, or setting a fancy dining room table for extended family. Personalize your list and tease out which aspects of the holiday you want to preserve.

     Questions to facilitate your discussion:
        - What do you love most about Thanksgiving (scents, tastes, sounds, rituals)? Why?
        - How can our family find a new way to re-create these things?
        - What materials, ingredients, or equipment will we need?

     Begin to re-imagine these newly identified moments and try these suggestions:

     1) Set a date in advance of Thanksgiving to brainstorm your menu virtually with would-be guests. Involve children to incorporate their ideas. Which dishes are "musts"? Is there a new recipe that you want to try? How about drinks? (In our house, we like to start with mugs of steaming cinnamon cider.) Assign dishes. Then, create a menu on Google Docs where everyone in your extended family can post recipes. If your Thanksgiving crew is local, make large quantities of selected dishes and choose a central location for a socially-distanced course exchange. If you are geographically spread out, make smaller quantities of the entire menu for your own family. Either way, everyone participating will enjoy the same Thanksgiving menu.

     2) Plan a few cooking Zoom sessions during Thanksgiving week with kid-friendly recipes like Katy’s Cranberry Sauce. Children especially enjoy cooking with cousins. This might be the perfect opportunity to pass on beloved family recipes between generations with actual demonstrations.

    3) Think intentionally about creating a "shared" holiday environment in each participating home through selected scents, tastes, sights, and sounds. Consider your initial conversation with your child. How can you recreate what's most important? Focus on adding details that everyone can enjoy, like scented candles and flowers. Make a playlist. Eating the same lovingly-prepared family recipes in tandem can create a powerful, joint experience, even if you aren't physically in the same place.

     4) Plan a way to start (and end) your meal together on Zoom. Choose someone to lead a song, prayer, poem, story, or a gratitude practice to focus your participants. For a change, try reading a Thanksgiving children’s book to set a playful tone for your holiday meal. Some families even prepare a Thanksgiving Seder. Here are a few recommended resources:

     Books
     Thanks for Thanksgiving by Julie Markes
     History Smashers – Mayflower by Kate Messner (for a fascinating re-examination of Thanksgiving myths)

     Songs
     "Simple Gifts" - a Shaker Hymm
     "Over the River and Through the Woods" - a 19th Century American Thanksgiving Song
     "Thank You, G-d" - Debbie Friedman

     Gratitude Practice
     Light a candle and open your meal by having everyone take a turn sharing what they feel grateful for this year. Encourage visuals - they will be particularly helpful to young children. Provide paper and crayons for children to draw their answers, or just to doodle. Taking the time for a simple gratitude practice can shift the overall mindset to blessings, rather than what is missing this year.

     Thanksgiving Seder
     This Thanksgiving seder was compiled by Rabbi Phyllis Sommer of Am Shalom in Glencoe, IL. It contains the Shehecheyanu prayer and well-loved songs about America. Try it as written, or add your own readings. https://reformjudaism.org/seder-thanksgiving

     For the meal itself, decide in advance whether to eat together virtually or whether to turn off your screens. While the collective virtual experience on Zoom can help to recreate the large family meal you may be craving, a meal in a small grouping may offer a more intimate experience. I recommend making sure to reconvene with all participating families after the meal to share reactions.

     5) On your joint Google Doc with your menu and recipes, document Thanksgiving week. Add photos of cooking together, as well as your holiday meal. Include readings, songs lyrics, and your family’s gratitude comments. Jot down notes and add quotes. Save and scan children's drawings. Document the novelty of Thanksgiving this year, so that you will have a meaningful keepsake of this unprecedented holiday.

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Fall Leaves: Walks Before They're Gone

11/1/2020

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    Fall is a time to marvel. For one glorious season, deep colors burst into the world, announcing their beauty to anyone who is paying attention. This dramatic change attracts young children's alert gaze. Join in their sense of wonder by looking with them. Slow down, look up, and start collecting leaves!

     These temporary gifts of nature are everywhere at this time of year. Sometimes, a fallen leaf can be so robust in color and perfect in shape that I feel like I am stealing it from a neighbor's lawn. I almost feel compelled to make sure that no one else wants it before picking it up to bring to my classroom. When you start looking, as if through a child's eyes, neighborhood leaves reveal themselves to anyone who wants to see.

    There are many creative ways to walk among the changing leaves with young children. Early autumn strolls offer simple joys with many new sights and sounds to notice. As the season progresses, try bringing new intentions into your walks. Vary your focus. Each activity offers a new way to connect with your young child through nature:

    1) Photos Over Time Pick a tree that your child loves and return to the same spot at the same time each day. Note the changes. Ask your child to take a daily photo. Line up the printed pictures in a chronological series as you go to see the changes over time.

2) Japanese Leaf Design Bring a container and collect a full variety of leaves (about ten of each). Look for different colors, shapes, and sizes. When you are beneath a tree collecting its fallen leaves, look up at the ones still attached. Name it if your child is interested. Bring your leaves home, sort them, and try your hand at Japanese leaf design. These exquisite arrangements have recently become popular in Japan. Build your own design as you might a jigsaw puzzle, trying to fit one leaf at a time in a chosen pattern. Try monochrome and mixed color designs, like the ones below.

     If you are working outside, the wind will introduce a time element: Can you finish before the wind blows it away? These designs are as ephemeral as fall itself! They reign for the moment, like a tower made of blocks, but are meant to be taken apart and reassembled in new ways. Keep your leaves stacked by type so you can easily start again. Most leaves last indoors for a few days. (Of course you can always collect more!) Take photos!

3) Leaf Man Let Leaf Man by Lois Ehlert inspire your walk. The illustrations are constructed with real leaves, and there is even a leaf glossary included. Read Leaf Man together outside. Can you find a tree of each variety on your walk? Try re-creating the animals in the book with leaves that you collect. Make up new leaf animals to extend the story. Can you make a leaf man? What else will you need to complete him (or her)?

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New Rituals Inspired by Apple Days for Rosh Hashanah 2020

9/3/2020

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Celebrating the Jewish New Year will look and feel very different this year. Perhaps you are wondering how to make your holiday meaningful? The question isn't new. It evolves as families do - over time. But history's course has thrown us a curve ball this year presenting unique challenges for 2020.

How can you respond creatively? How can you create new rituals that build anticipation and offer those you love a renewed sense of meaning during a trying time? We all know the limits of relating virtually through a two-dimensional screen. Within this imposed boundary, where can you find the space and freedom to come up with something fresh and inspiring - a very appropriate task at the Jewish new year when newness is celebrated and fresh starts make sense?

This very question inspired Apple Days. Years ago, I had a real need for a fresh approach to one of my favorite holidays. I needed a completely new approach to guide my celebration with my own children around the time when I felt the loss of my mother most acutely. Holidays are like that. I found my new path right in the middle of a local apple orchard one September day. As we felt the earth, its dirt beneath our fingernails, and plucked robust fruits in the autumn sun, apple-picking was becoming a tradition before I even realized it was happening. What had started one afternoon as "just another plan on the calendar" was becoming an annual ritual. We planned to go again the next year, and then the next, with much anticipation. Over time apple-picking helped me to begin to heal. I gave this tradition to Katy in my book.

This year we all need some degree of healing, and the way that we approach the Jewish holidays offers a unique chance to create opportunities for repair and renewed purpose. It occurs to me that Katy's beloved "Apple Day" can take on a life outside of the book as families look for novel ways to celebrate.

Here are a few ideas inspired by the book:

Pick Your Own Apples This Year

Fruit picking is one of the few activities that we have not lost due to social distancing during COVID-19. Take advantage! It may just be the perfect time to begin your own apple picking tradition, like Katy and her mom. This year, going to a local orchard will offer new rewards because it will provide the chance to spend time outside together, away from virtual experiences. Outdoor time reconnects you to yourselves through active physical experience, from walking the rows at the orchard, to reaching for high fruits, to lifting weighty overflowing buckets on the way back to your car. Being in nature also reconnects you to rich sensory impressions - smelling the sweet aroma of apples, feeling the sun on your back, and taking a crunchy bite of freshly plucked fruit. You will be surprised by how far away from your computer screen you will feel!

When I go apple picking, I pick two huge buckets, many more than we need for our own family. These apples travel home in my trunk to become apple pies and Jewish apple cakes. I will make applesauce to put into mason jars for friends, and munch many more as snacks. We also give many away with great satisfaction.

Deliver A Surprise Apple and Holiday Note!

In Apple Days, Katy found an apple on her doorstep with a note from Rabbi Portnoy. Imagine how surprised and delighted she must have felt, even before she discovered who left it or what it said. Consider leaving a surprise New Year's card with an apple for a friend to discover on her doorstep. You can draw or paint a picture of a new year's wish or write your own note to your friend.

Come Up With a Novel Way To Celebrate

Katy's community comes up with an unexpected and innovative way to get a collection of apples to Katy to make her coveted applesauce. Try adopting their ingenuity and applying it to your holiday traditions. This slightly different perspective can lead you in refreshing directions.

Think of how you've celebrated the High Holidays in the past by coming up with a list of anything that your child remembers and looks forward to. This may include going to holiday services, visiting family, hearing familiar sounds or songs, listening to the shofar blast, cooking together, reading favorite books, wearing new clothes, eating a favorite dish, making holiday cards, or cleaning the house for company. Personalize this list and talk about each item to define what made it meaningful to your child. Together discover which aspect of the holiday you most want to preserve and re-imagine a new way to do it with awareness and intention. Make a specific plan together about how to make it happen.

Questions to facilitate your planning: What do you love most about Rosh Hashanah? Why? (Try to focus the conversation on close relationships associated with celebrating together, sensory experiences, such as the scent or taste of a favorite dish, or visual symbols.) Can we find a new way to make sure that we get that feeling or experience that you are looking for? How can we create it for us? How can we give it to other people in our family? What materials, ingredients, or equipment will we need?

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Consider Podcasts

6/16/2020

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The word podcast entered our official lexicon as an entry in Webster's International Dictionary in 2006. Fourteen years later, podcasts have proliferated for adults, and they are starting to make an impact on children, too.

A refreshing alternative to screens, podcasts require children's focused attention and offer a break for tired eyes. Without bold images competing for their attention, children can simply listen. Pre-readers learn facts and hear stories through creative combinations of voice, sound effects, and music. It's a refreshing alternative to ubiquitous screens. Listening to a podcast is like relaxing to the sound of a car radio without having to go for a drive. And since most of us are hardly traveling due to COVID, it's easy to miss out on this simple auditory pleasure.

According to Kids Listen, a California-based grassroots non-profit organization for creators, consumers and supporters of quality children's podcasts, kids are responding! 75% of young listeners start discussions related to what they have just heard, 58% quote or re-enact part of a podcast episode, 56% tell others what they learned from a podcast, 54% ask to listen to the podcast episode again, and 52% request more information about what they've learned.

I've surveyed many children's podcasts and here are a few of my favorites:

Earth Rangers - Guided by Ranger Emma, this immersive podcast introduces children to animal and nature sounds.

Animal Sound Safari - Children can discover animals from around the world by going on a sound safari.

Noodle Loaf - This musical podcast plays original songs and playful ways to interact.

The Music Box - The Music Box is an interactive music education podcast for kids, exploring fundamental music concepts through performing, responding and connecting.

Classical Kids Storytime - This entertaining podcast features beloved stories and fables set to classical music.

Spare the Rock, Spoil the Child - Experience "Indie music for indie kids!"

Bedtime Explorers - A mindfulness coach leads Imaginative journeys to magical places, visiting animals with super powers, and meeting kind dinosaurs.

Peace Out - Meditate and relax with a focus on mindfulness and practicing kindness. Great for quiet time.

One third of children in the U.S.
listen to a podcast every day.
- Kids Listen

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From Cooking to Calligraphy, People Stuck at Home are Finding New Space for Creativity, Washington Post, April 11, 2020

6/9/2020

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This is an inspiring WP article by Michael Brice-Saddler about finding moments for creative expression during quarantine. It's important for adults, as well as children!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2020/04/11/cooking-calligraphy-people-stuck-home-are-finding-new-space-creativity/

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Creating a Picture Schedule: Trust Me - This Will Make A Huge Difference!

6/8/2020

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This year, the arrival of summer comes with a loss of the last remnants of daily structure, leaving many parents with a sense of being lost in the wilderness. Where can you begin to approach this amorphous time, to shape it for your family and your children?

Consider approaching the weeks as a teacher might, by creating a workable, streamlined schedule that everyone can follow.

One of the reasons that young children seem so comfortable at preschool is because they know exactly what is happening when. Their classroom routines become automatic, especially when they can see them. Clear expectations about the flow of the day are established at the start of the year. Children come to rely on these expectations and find comfort in the familiar rhythm of their days. In this way, children can anticipate transitions and look forward to their favorite times of day.

Young children are extremely visual. They can read and interpret pictures and symbols long before they begin to read words. As parents, you can use this developmental strength to help your children at home, just as teachers do throughout the classroom.

To create a picture schedule at home, start by examining your daily routine. Give it some careful thought and come up with a daily structure that works for your family during this time. Your daily plan might include: Play time (free choice), dedicated clean up times, quiet rest, meals/snacks, limited screen time, indoor/outdoor movement, and supervised activities such as cooking, art, science and water play. Each day of the week, M-F, should be a little different, varying project types and screen days. You can also decide how often and when you want to include music and/or movement activities.

It is important to remember that you are actually creating an ordered routine, not a precise schedule with exact times. Over a relatively short time, your children will begin to internalize the general outline of the day's flow. Their new rhythm will become familiar with practice, and you can stop improvising.

Here is a possible routine:

Breakfast

Outside or Music/Movement Activity
Independent Play
Clean Up
Snack
Project

Lunch

Quiet Time
Outdoors
Independent Play
Limited Screen Time

Dinner

Storytime
Bedtime

When planning this schedule, I kept these ideas in mind:

1) The day starts together after breakfast. This will give children some reassuring attention right at the start of the day.
2) Active movement early in the day can help children to release energy and feel more focused, to breathe some fresh air, and to exert physical effort in a healthy and necessary way.
3) Playtime, Quiet Time and Screen Time are meant to be independent, so that everyone, has some time to themselves - including parents. Try streamlining as much as possible, coordinating your own work with your children's independent times.
4) Alternate active/quiet times of the day, and independent/supervised play.
5) Simple rituals, lighting and music will help with transitions.
6) It's important to go outside every day - rain, snow or shine. Explore nature, experience the elements, breathe, and move in an unconfined space.
7) Decide how often you would like to include music and/or movement. These activities can be supplemented by online programming or streamed music.

Making a Schedule Board for Your Home

Once you have decided on a daily rhythm that works for your child(ren), create an eye-level visual schedule to refer to each day.

1) Write out a list of every part of the day. This might include the following activities: Art, Cooking, Exploration, Science, Water Play, Choice Time (2x), Outdoors (2x), Rest Time, Screen Time, Story Time, Movement, Music, Clean Up (2x), Snack, Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, and/or Jobs. Add an additional "Something Different" picture to give yourself the option for a surprise. Write or print the list in approximately 24 bold pt. type (This is especially useful for children who are becoming interested in reading and making connections between pictures and words), and cut out each activity label. For Example:

Art
Cooking
Choice Time
Choice Time
Something Different

2) Create pictures to represent each part of the day. Take a quick photo of your child doing the described activity, or use clip art or your own drawings. Invite your children to participate by coming up with and creating their own images. They can even take photos themselves. Glue activity labels and images onto 4 x 6 index cards (or 5 x 7 for two year olds), or computer paper cut into quarters or halves.

3) Place the finished schedule cards in order with magnets at your child's eye level with the understanding that they will change daily. The lower part of your refrigerator is ideal, but you can use a white board with magnets. Velcro on poster board can also work, or try Post-It's in a pinch. For younger children, you may want to display one row at at a time; ie. morning schedule through lunch, and the afternoon through bedtime. See what works for your children!

This is an example of a morning schedule intended for a two-year-old, placed at eye-level on the bottom of my fridge.

4) As you go through your day, turn over or remove each card as you finish the activity that it represents. In this way, children can actually see where they are in the day.

Your child will soon be able to follow the order of the day in pictures. You will begin to notice your children going back for independent visits to check the visual schedule, perhaps to seek reminders about the day's plan, or simply to experience the reassurance that comes with knowing what comes next. Creating this rhythm at home requires intention and forethought, but it's worth the effort. When your young child knows what to expect, the day is more likely to unfold with a greater sense of order and calm.

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Why It's Important To Find Moments of Joy

5/4/2020

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This Washington Post opinion piece by Kelly Glass speaks directly to the mission of Be That Someone.

From On Parenting, April 21

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A COVID-19 Handwashing Guide for Children

5/3/2020

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A New Blog: Be That Someone.

4/23/2020

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As schools shut down last month, shell-shocked parents and their young children retreated to the physical protection of their homes, only to recognize a looming reality: Uncertainty had toppled all plans. Carefully shaped routines evaporated. Children’s multifaceted worlds beyond their homes - and all that these provided, including childcare - had ceased for the forseeable future. Their colorful, organized classrooms with labeled shelves, and the sense of place and order that they offered, were lost for the academic year. Playdates and lessons ceased. Neighborhood playgrounds lay abandoned. In the quiet stillness, you could almost hear a collective parental gasp, a terse inhale without release.

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Pick Your Own Apples This Year

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